Rolling Along

It has been too long since I posted thoughts on life as a mom of many. Needless to say, the days are busy and - you know- yada yada yada. It was a funny realization today as I was driving down the road to remember that come this Saturday I will have been home from Vietnam for as many weeks as I was in Vietnam. Time flies when your running around like a chicken with her head cut off...

That means that Lucy has been part of my every day life for nearly 10 weeks; wow. The wonder of her arrival has not yet worn off, and at the same time it feels so completely natural and normal that she lives here, with us, and is part of our family. It feels like the plane landed yesterday, and at the same time it feels like Vietnam was a very long and almost forgotten dream.

The effects of change in our family is settling in. We are tripping over teething rings and moving baby swings from one room to another. The diaper bag is again my very stylish purse-type accessory (I really want a new one, a really cool one I saw at a very expensive baby boutique. New diaper bags indicate a hip-ness about mothering that I just can't resist. I have such restraint to obstain!) I am constantly tossing dirty diapers out onto the front porch, and my triathlon training is so yesterday (my abs and core were never impressive, but can you say "jelly roll"? because I now have one of those surrounding my waist at all times! Yikes!).

Our kids are feeling it too. They've all expressed it in different ways, and I feel fractious in trying to hug and help one or another of them every second of the day. I swore when I came home from Vietnam I would continue posting little observations about the amazingly blessed life I'm leading, but when the minutes tick by like seconds and hours pass so quickly in the day I find there just isn't time...

this isn't a post of complaint. I feel actually deeply happy for our current circumstance. And very very "carried" by a loving God who has helped me with little things like a carpool for our nutcracker ballerina and a kind word to say in a moment when I thought I might shout a profanity instead. Just last night John came home from work very unexpectedley just after a typhoon of activity and a frenzy of family chaos. His arrival was a saving grace, and as he came in and kissed me on the cheek he released me from a tense moment, sending me out for a few minutes of fresh air (I hit a neighborhood gift boutique, you gotta see the stuff I found; Awesome). Those tiny little things are happening with frequency and in them I find the loving hand of one who knows just how and when to help.

I heard a story a little while ago from a church leader I love and admire. He spoke of a single mom, keeping her family going and feeling so alone in the everyday mania that is raising a family (mom, gotta get a posterboard for a project due tomorrow, Mom, help me with this math, mom gotta bring treats to school, mom where is the soccer uniform...). This worn out and worthy parent left the house to borrow something from a neighbor. As she turned towards home, she saw in the late evening darkness the house full of chaos that awaited her return. Lights on and kids moving about, she was out of energy and deflated. As she slowly made her way she prayed (I'm paraphrasing here), "Oh Heavenly Father, I just can't do it tonight. My energy is gone. Couldn't I come home to you-just for tonight? I promise I'll come back in the morning..." In her heart and mind there was a loving impression. "No, my sweet daughter. You cannot come to me yet, for you would not wish to ever leave. But, I can come to you."

So, that is how we are rolling along, limping at times but knowing full well we wouldn't be moving at all without the help of one who is loving and mindful of us all.