A Very Happy Day!

We received an unexpected and very welcome Christmas gift on December 20th this year. At around 11 a.m. our adoption counselor called informing us that Molly's birthmom had signed paperwork for Molly to be "officially" placed with us as her adoptive parents. In the blink of an eye John and I were sitting in the adoption agency office, listening to the paperwork we would sign to accept Molly as our adoptive daughter. (What a blessing our dear friend and trusted right hand gal Jenna Johnson was visiting our family from Boise so I could leave the little kiddos for this important and life altering experience!)

As I listened to our case worker read the legal jargon that would bind us to Molly for good I felt so many emotions go through me all at once. Having not expected to officially sign papers until after the new year I was thrilled for the early Christmas gift; what an appropriate time of year to recieve a child into your life. It was on December 5, 2004 that Molly first came into our home, and now 2 years and 15 days later she can become a permanent Graham. Just as I felt this joy the feeling of sadness for Molly's birthmom-who I love-was just as great. How difficult it must have been for her to sign her name, placing her daughter in the permanent care of another mother. I wondered how she was doing, who was there to support and strengthen her, and how she would ever know what a gift she has given us in making Molly a Graham.

We will be carefully watched over during the next 6 months by our adoption counselor, as paperwork for adoption isn't "finalized" until 6 months after placement. It is then-in mid June-that we will appear before a judge and see that Molly Elizabeth Graham will forever belong to us. In the meantime we live our lives as usual. Nothing new, nothing out of the ordinary. Just time to wait and be thankful for the day when all of the Grahams are official. No longer a borrowed baby, Molly will become a forever Graham-#5-the unsinkable little Molly that has belonged here from her beginnings with us two christmas times ago.

This unexpected gift, the gift of a child to loving parents, is such a tender reminder of the goodness of God. It is such a deep and abiding lesson at this Christmas season, when we remember the gift of a tiny baby whose mission it was to glorify and do the will of God, His true and divine Father. How thankful we are for the gift of our Molly. How thankful we are for the Gift of God's son, given so long ago, which we celebrate throughout this Christmas season. 

Holiday Happenings

We've had the usual bustle around our house with all the holiday happenings that occure come December. Everything from our Swedish Lucia celebration to multiple school performances, dance recitals and choir concerts, not to mention an informal piano recital thrown in with it all. It makes for busy evenings and lots of nights where the "quickest dinner possible" is what's on the menu, just so we can make it from one obligation to the next. But in the busy-ness of it all just look at the faces in these pictures. Pure Joy. Absolute satisfaction in my children's expressions. And if you could see the face behind the camera you'd see the absolute pride and amazement that this parent gets to run around after these (and 3 other wonderful) kids. Merry Christmas! 

If you can't beat 'em...

I borrowed John's reindeer nose, bestowed upon him at Porter's pre-school Christmas program, to usher in a little holiday mood. I guess If you can't beat the crowds, the rush and the bustle of the season, why not join in! I do love Christmas, and this year more than most I've found myself very willing to let go of the "non essential" stresses of the season and just enjoy it a little more. I can't do all I'd like-I always want to do everything-so I'm trying hard to enjoy what I can do and relax and let go...guess it's working a little since I'm posting a pic of me with a giant red circle on my nose! Holiday parties and programs? shopping and baking? Decorating and Christmas carding? I say Bring it ON. 

Dark days of December!

It always seems that December, even with Christmas cheer, brings with it the darkness of winter. In our family we celebrate the Swedish Lucia Day, which is celebrated on the Darkest day of the the year (in Sweden). We wake early and deliver swedish cinnamon rolls to dad as he "sleeps" in bed. The kids dress in the traditional clothing of the day and we hum the Lucia song as we walk through this most wonderful tradition from our life in Stockholm. It is a day of light in a dark month.

Then, after the kids have dressed all in white, we rush around getting them ready to go to school on time. This getting up in the morning thing has become a total snag in our family life. My kids drag out of bed, sometimes taking 20 minutes from first awakening to actual contact with their bedroom floor (sometimes this is full body contact, as they try to find a warm spot on the carpet to continue their night's hibernation!). It is all mom can do to bark and snap them to order, rushing after them with babies in tow as they supposedly practice piano, make their lunches, dress themselves, and leave their rooms somewhat orderly. I say supposedley because it has been sometime since we've accomplished these tasks before the hurried yell to morning prayer just before they run out the back door and attempt to make it to their classrooms before they are considered tardy.

Well, this morning I kinda lost it. I began the usual wake up ritual at 7 a.m.-giving the kids a full 90 minutes to complete their morning "duties" and head off to school. Of course, as usual they didn't get their stuff done, but this was after much effort on my part to "encourage" them. That was it, I just couldn't handle it any more-as we gathered in our "mud hall" to put on their shoes and coats and say a family prayer I just layed it on the line. "No more extras unless you guys can get up and get to work in the mornings! It is so frustrating that you leave for school with me in a dither every day! I feel like getting a job and leaving you with a babysitter to bark at you instead of me! I didn't chose to stay home to mother you just to bark and holler all the time! I want you to think about it and let me know what you want! Do you want me to be home, and are you willing to do your part so I can be home without having to raise my voice in order for you to do the things we expect of you? You think about it and tell me after school what you think, 'cause I'm done being a nag at you all the time!" Then I asked Porter to pray for us all. He did; "Heavenly Father. We thank thee for our house and our mom. Thank thee the kids go to school. Thank thee for the mitten tree (a service project I've "co-chaired" with another mom at the school). Help us be happy. Name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

Then they went to school. Bryn was in tears, I"m sure at the prospect of my leaving for a career and sending a sitter to make her practice piano. Mason accidentally clocked Madison with his back pack and she left in tears too. Porter sat on the floor with a little whimper.

Not a successful morning. Definately a dark December Day.

Now, mind you-I'm not a screamer. I mean, I have a loud voice in the first place and I have certainly raised it with my kids. But generally I don't want to have yelling matches with them-and I don't think John and I have actually yelled at each other but once or twice (this doesn't mean we haven't argued, we just don't argue by screaming...) But the thing is, I don't want to become a screamer. I don't want this to happen in my life. And it is starting to happen-so what do I do? How do I motivate my kiddos through these December mornings in order to have order in this big ol' family? Any ideas would be gladly taken, especially if you've been her and done this with a larger family! I don't want to become a mom in December that is dark herself, because I think that mom would have a hard time shaking off the December darkness come April if she has those habits through out the winter . I don't want yelling to be the first thing I list on my resume!

So, Darkness in December-what to do, how to make it through. All questions I'm musing in these when the sun hides his head and goes to bed early.